I'm sorry I disappoint you guys,

I've been crying non-stop since this morning. Thinking about my results itself can make me sit on the chair and start sobbing like an idiot. People ask me how did I do, thinking that I will do well. Only to find out I did really badly and just encouraged me to do better next time. I hugged so many teachers and everytime I hug one of them, I'll start tearing up, I never expected my results to be like this. I never expected to fall so hard. Is this failure for the benefit of the future? Will I look back and say that I fell but I got up and strive really hard for the better? I am very sorry I have disappointed everyone. I didn't expected this result. It was totally my fault. Too much of entertainment? I'm sorry I didn't get what you guys expected of me. I learn from my mistakes and I am prepared to study hard for my A Levels. I am super upset with myself, I'm sorry if I have disappointed all my teachers. I really don't want that to happen. I feel so depressed I don't even know how am I gonna pick myself up and bring myself to go to college again to face the obstacles in front of me. Is it true that God has better plans ahead of me or he is just testing me? My tears can't stop flowing down from my eyes. My eyes are so swollen I look like a zombie and I feel like one too. I can't eat properly, neither can I talk. Everytime I open my mouth, I feel like crying. I need a hug every second. And when I hugged my Mum at that point, that moment. I felt that she was really disappointed and also upset. Partially worried as well because I am studying in KL. She was worried whether I'll go astray, whether I'll graduate and get a good job and stuff. I could see it in her eyes. She was afraid. I lean towards her and cried my eyeballs out. I'm even crying now thinking about it. I heard that if a person cried too much, she will go blind. Well, I can't stop myself from shedding tears. I think I felt really upset when my teachers told me that I did well, although I know I didn't. This results was even worst than my trials. I really really didn't expect it to be bad. Sigh. So I guess all I can do is to work hard for my A Levels and do well. I don't wanna disappoint anyone anymore. Especially myself. I'm not gonna let anyone stop me. Not gonna let anyone influence me. I'm gonna work hard for the future. Gonna put in my best effort and do everything I can to do well for my first semester exam. I pray and hope that I'll get encouragement from my friends and family members. I really need your encouragement now as I feel really low and upset about this. So I hope you guys will stop asking me about my results and let me move on. Thank you guys so much for giving me encouragement.

I will work hard, I promise.

Excited!

The last time I updated my blog was about a week ago. I can't believe that I am back in JB now and I am epic happy to be back. It feels as if I just came back from a long holiday and now I am back home. Although I am almost 4 hours away from KL, my habits in KL still never change when I am back here. The tap in KL opens anti-clockwise, while back in JB, i open it clockwise. HAH, pretty tough to adapt to change. My mummy interrogated me as soon as I got home. Asked me thousand and one question and I answered all of them. I am such a good girl. :)

Anyway, last week was awesome. Minus the test and all. School is always fun. Although there are many homework to do, but it kinda seems so different from high school and so fun too. We took a class photo and everyone was inside except Moses. LOL. The class is relatively packed with people and so we enjoy ourselves pretty much. Gossiping, laughing and stuff. LAN is the most interesting part of college. I have no idea why either. Mr. Chandran's class is not bad either la. :)LAN class will be epic boring without this two jokers la (don't perasan please, Claudius and Ting) But our teacher can be fierce some times. Imagine her calling out your name and you not knowing what the heck she was talking about because you were not paying attention. SO DAMN SWAY! It hasn't happen to me YET. HAHA. It is really funny how we can make so many friends at one go. Everyone seems to be so verbal and talkative like me in class. It's so funny how sometimes there are people talking more than me in class. :S

Me, Juliet, Ting and Claudius webcam-whoring after LAN class.

Me, Juliet, Monisha and Nicole webcam-whoring during LAN class.

Class Photo. PB1 ROCKS!

It was such a painful experience for Juliet to lose her wallet in Sunway Pyramid that day. I guess it was a pick pocket. Sigh, KL is really dangerous eh? I remember some KL people telling me I am not from JB as long as I don't get snatched before. What kinda nonsense thinking this is man. Sigh, we wanted to go for a shopping spree with Jia Dic, Moses and Lundu as well but in the end, we went around to look for her wallet and the whole time she didn't have any mood to shop. Aww man. Thank God Chinese New Year, you will be able to get back the money as soon as possible. :)

So yes, few weeks have past. I guess it is about 5 weeks and I am back in JB again to celebrate Chinese New Year. Its funny how five weeks past so fast and we're already on our way back to JB and I am in my room sitting on my chair typing this stuff already. My parents interrogated me about how KL was and all. How was KL lifestyle and stuff. Yes, I admit. I had the perception of KL/Subang people to be materialistic and cocky. But, I was so wrong. They are nice people and also awesome people to be with. Break time seems to be so awesome. We get to talk and catch up with stuff. Sometimes even bitch about other people. That's what girls do don't they. Seriously speaking, I didn't expect myself to make any friends. I thought, shit la whey, this poor fella like me who lives on papan house in JB won't get any friends because they KL people were so materialistic. Hell no. I made so many friends. Even from other class and I am so happy that I manage to do that. Thanks for making my 5 weeks stay so awesome. I am hoping for more fun when I come back from Chinese new year break.

Yes, so I have heard that En. Azmi is leaving already. Sad huh. After so many years of teaching in Convent. Sigh. Sports day is on the 20 something of February and I will not be able to attend it. Damn sad right? I know. HAHAHA. I seem to have so many things to blog about. I can't wait for new year to be here. I wanna get loads of angpao so that I can either get a new mobile or an iPod touch. HEH. What Helen said was true, you would rather use a lousy phone and have a ipod touch than have an awesome phone with no iPod at all. Damn true? HAHA. How I wish I could go out to a mamak stall now and have some roti canai. I am epic hungry now. I know, damn random. Sigh, my eyes are swelling up now and it is painful to even keep it open.

I can't wait for life in college after Chinese New Year, I hope it's gonna be awesome and invite me to your house to collect angpao, chill and also makan makan so that we can all grow fat together eh?

Gotta leave now. Thanks Min Jeong for introducing me to more Korean songs, I am totally hooked. HAHAH.

Happy Chinese New Year folks! Get as many angpao's as possible and treat me good food! :)

HAPPY! :)

2 Sime Darby Scholars.

5 Bank Negara Scholars.

In my class.

How terrible. The competition is on! So many people in my class suddenly. There are about 34 people in my class and because I complained to the teacher about how squeezy our class is with so many people in class, the principal shifted our entire class room to bigger classes in another block. How awesome eh. So now we have more space and we feel more comfortable. Every week, new students come into our class.

We have been learning the same thing for thinking skills for the past 3 weeks. Main conclusion, reason 1, reason 2. She just keeps repeating it over and over again but at least it gets into our head. Tests seems to be so common. Every week we have math test and next week I am expecting 2 more subjects. Econs and Accounts. Test are good. It gives us the motivation to study and we know what exactly we're studying for instead of just doing homework everyday only. I hate when teacher say she wanna have pop quizes. We can't prepare cause we don't know when it will be and we have to study everyday so we don't faint when teacher give us a quiz suddenly.

Yes, I didn't get Student Council, neither did I get the call backs for the Musical. I feel sad la duh. Everything I want I didn't get. Just my luck la. I am gonna strive for my studies then. Maybe God just don't want me to get involved in all this and want me to concentrate in my studies. Hd dinner with my cousins on Friday and went grocery shopping. Bought so many things. By the way, I have been eating spaghetti for 3 days already and everytime I cook, it tastes better. :) So I am a really great cook. CHEY WAH. :)

So I turned 18 last SUNDAY! So happy. Legal but I never go clubbing that day okay. My friends sent text to me saying, KIM, YOU'RE FINALLY LEGAL. GET DRUNK AND GO PARRRTTTAAAYYY! O.O Nope, I budak baik so I didn't go. Haha, instead. The day of my birthday, I went to church in the morning. Waited for the bus for so long. From 9.50 to 10.50 on a Sunday morning in TBS. Wait untilll. Sweat like mad man. But at least I got to talk to Calean and Vanessa! :) After that we met up in church and then we went to Sunway Pyramid! :)

Met up in Tony Roma's for lunch with my friends! :) I knew they were there so not much of a shock. I thought Chin Fang lied to me that she couldn't make it to my birthday gathering but she really didn't turn up. Anyway, we still had fun. Me, Wen Li, Jenny, Vanessa, Lee Wee, Wendy, Sue Yinn, Chiu, Jessie, Kaytrieese, Yen Ling and Calean were all there. Ahh, HAPPY SHIT. Thank you guys for coming. I love the present too! The forever 21 bag was just awesome la. Thank you Wen Li for choosing it and all those who shared to buy my present. :) Everyone has been asking me where I get the bag from. They say it is very nice. HAHAH. They gave me a voucher for a free Onion Loaf when I go to Tony Roma's the next time and also I got a free slice of cake which was damn awesome. The chocolate and the ice cream fit perfectly. Awesome. Thank you guys for spending my birthday with me for the past 6 years. I am really thankful to have friends like you. Although I can be really demanding at times. You know I still love you guys and always will.

:) After eating with them, I went to Forever 21 for some shopping. :) Then I realise I didn't have enough cash with me. So I called my mum to tell her. So my mum told me to use my Debit card. OMG, THEY FREAKING SWIPE THE CARD AND I SIGN AND THE CLOTHES ARE PAID AND THEY ARE MINE! :)) So I bought a pants and 2 tops. Awesome. :) It felt so good. HAHA. After that we took a cab home. Too much homework not done. Min Jeong gave me a super nice notebook. Moses gave me a card and Japanese Cracker and Nicole gave me cupcakes and also a frying pan for me to cook cause she knows I love eating and cooking! :) I came home and got chocolates from Qing, thank you. And then on Monday I received a letter from mee suah(what an awesome nickname la, you guys really know I love eating). :)) Thank you so much. Thank you to all those who wished me Happy Birthday online and through sms, I am very thankful to all of you. If I didn't reply you, I am so sorry cause I really have limited amount of credit. :)

Pictures are not in order. I have no idea what happen to blogger. The pictures are so hard to move up and down. Sigh.

I can't wait for my 19th birthday next year. I hope you can spend it together with me next year. :)

No worries!

It's almost the third week in KL already. Funny how I seem to have so much time but I also seem to have so little time. Come back everyday at about 4. And by the time I finish washing my clothes and also bathing it will probably be about 5 already. So, I will chill a little while then I will go online to see whether I have homework online and check facebook too. Funny how teachers can give so many homework through email. It sucks big time.

Today was the most sickening one. My house rubbish bin was so disgusting. There were flies all around it and the smell was so strong, I can smell it from my living room. And the rubbish were piling up like a mountain. Omg, smelly shit. I couldn't stand the smell and the look of the stupid rubbish bin so I decided I should "kumpul-kan" all the rubbish and then throw it away. Yeah, baby flies and maybe even maggots and worms were in it. Trust me, one week of rubbish with about 10 people staying in the house. You really don't wanna know how terrible it looks. No I didn't pick it up with my bare hands of course. But I picked everything up with a plastic bag. Eww, gross.

Anyway, you know me, being always very adventurous and stuff. I wrote in my essay to join the Student Council but yeah, I didn't get in. I was quite disappointed la but after what my friend told me about them, I decided, I don't wanna join a club like that. And, I also wrote down my name for a Musical in Taylors. I'm going to audition for a part in the Musical. Freaking damn scary but I think I should try it out. Joined the Music Club which has free jamming sessions, AWESOME! And also join Taymun Club which is something like debating but it is to improve your general knowledge and stuff. Interesting. :) I am also currently in this Taylors new programme which is quite interesting but I really don't know how to explain and I'm so lucky to be the class Rep. to go for this thing. HAHA.

College life has been awesome. New friends, awesome ones in fact. The big problem is the amount I spend everyday on food. Lunch is probably $10 everyday and dinner is about that as well minus the drink. I hardly order any drinks when I go out now cause the price just makes my jaw drop. One freaking barley ais is about $1.60 when I can get it for $1 in JB. No, JB people don't live on trees or papan houses. They probably have houses bigger than KL people but everyone has that perception don't they? I ask my friend from Sri KL, so your friends are all mega rich people eh. Obviously they are. They are all son's or daughters of leading entrepreneur in KL owning all kind of company and earning millions I bet. They dress to kill in Taylors and they don't even look like people who are 18. Probably look like they're 20. Ahh, branded clothes everywhere eh. Sigh. It seems like the people here are really materialistic.

:) But I am happy my class mates are not that materialistic. Class is mega awesome with laughter everywhere. Today 5 Bank Negara Scholars joined our class. Super super pressured. But not to worry, we'll all definitely strive hard to do whatever we can to do well. Although it may seem pretty tough. Have to study and do my homework every night and it is so tough but I like it this way. My room mate is my motivation to study. Science student. :) Housemates are really really nice. We can ask them to help tapao food for us and stuff. Thanks James for cooking for us yesterday! We were so scared the oil will splash on us and he help us fry mee and fry egg too. Ate that and now I have a freaking sore throat. Walking out to tapao won't be so scary

because I have my handy-dandy PEPPER SPRAY! I try to bring it every where I go since Subang is one of the place where crime are committed most often. Luckily there is a small police station near Taylors College. Everyday I walk to school with a bunch of friends, who are my housemates. Ahh, we eat together, clean the house together, talk together. Hahah. Super fun.

This picture was taken with me and my housemates. Had Korean food that night. Because Sin Yee was leaving. James wasn't with us though. He had something to do.

Everything is fine in KL. I learn how to hang clothes, how to cook from my housemate, how to wash my own clothes and also iron my own clothes and also how to not procrastinate about doing stuff. Homework in College don't need to be passed up but if you don't do it, it will be your own lost. So no choice. I try to do my homework everyday and all. I am super tired right now and my shoulder hurts like shit due to the immense amount of weight on my shoulder when I carry my school bag and the freaking text book is 500pages thick. So I see you guys and I can't wait for my birthday this weekend! :)

Whoosh!

Almost 2 weeks have passed and seriously, it is freaking damn fast. I can't imagine that I have been staying in KL for 2 weeks already. I kept thinking SPM was still last week. How I miss those times, seriously.

What to wear to college tomorrow? Haha. I bet everyone have the same problem. You don't wanna wear the same clothes over again in a week but at the same time, you have no more clothes to wear. So what do you do? You wash and wash the clothes over and over again and try to mix and match so that you won't look the same. Imagine some one coming up to you saying, "Hey? Didn't you wear that yesterday?" The embarrassment!

This rich people in KL, never seem to run out of clothes to wear. Some times you even find it hard to keep up with them. Eating at AC almost everyday, if not, its Pan mee. I think my face is gonna turn into that too. You don't wanna spend much but at the same time, you don't wanna eat the same food like chicken rice or pan mee. You are so lazy to go out of your home you prefer eating maggi mee at home. Like me. Or not, you can just call up your cousins and get a free meal! :). THANKS MUN!

First thought when I was coming to KL was that I would probably forget about my craze for Korean shows, songs and guys. Only to find out I have a Korean classmate who can teach me how to speak Korean and also go crazy with me over Korean singers. :S How funny isn't it? Learning new words everyday. Mostly bad words and also talking about the latest news in Korean Entertainment. I might even develope her Korean accent when she speaks.

It is pretty hectic here. The hours are long. However they are not boring at all. Time pass super fast but when you eventually finish school. You will be totally wear out. From 8 to 4 in the afternoon. How not to be tired? I'm still trying to adapt to the long hours here. Finding time to blog is pretty tough. Never knew that homework could come through email? Yeah, it just did. Freaking 50+ questions for maths. Thank God I will have time to do it. Quizes in class are bound to happen. Trying to do my best for everyone and also pay attention in class. Have super awesome classmates in my class. Funny and super noisy. It is a combination of everything you want in a class and its super awesome. I am really really happy to be here. Lunch with a group of probably 8-10 people everyday. Gossiping and stuff. Girls just love gossiping don't they? Exactly my point. I love LAN classes. The guy in front is a crazy Girls Generation fanatic. Totally. Talk to us about all the Korean stuff and who he likes. During LAN, we talk the most and as usual, I make the most noise. :) However, I only make noise during discussion and I give constructive criticism alright?

My favourite teacher would probably be my accounts teacher. Super funny and he makes accounts so much more interesting. Thinking about accounts, I seem to have never ending amount of homework.

Ahh, everything seems to be fine. Only thing is I feel abit weird at times. Splitting my time between housemates, classmates, secondary schoolmates and primary school mates. I feel very weird not being able to go for every outing they have. I am super close to them however it is rather impossible to split my time between all of them at once. I wish to pull all my hair out thinking about this. I gotta tell you guys this, please don't pulau-kan me! I still wanna meet up for lunch when I am free! And I hope that you guys can ajak me along. :( Its gonna be damn tough juggling with school, outings, new friends and close friends. It really is. Sigh, I sometimes wonder whether I can keep up. The homework is really piling up and the stress is coming up too. So I decide to only choose specific events to attend and not spend too much time on the laptop and also staying back in school for unrelated stuff. I think I should buck up and start putting on my fifth gear so that I won't panic when the actual exams come.

Trust me, you will definitely miss high school when you eventually come to college no matter how fun college is. I'm glad I have nice housemates that I can count on to buy dinner and drive us to school. Give us "advice" and bring us out and show us around the area. I can't imagine if I have cocky and silent housemates. My house is always noisy. Everyone seems to be talking so much. Glad that this is happening. Everything seems to be fine in KL. I'll take a chill pill whenever I have to. You definitely don't have to worry.

Did I mention that I went to Ikea for shopping last week but got everything except the stuff I originally wanted to buy? Haha. I know, wasting money but bother la. My room does not look like a pig sty yet alright? It is neat and tiny unlike my room in JB. Don't worry mummy! :)

I guess I have to sleep now. Its really late. I had buffet steamboat for dinner just now and I am super full now. I even drank a tin of Nescafe so I am so not sleepy but I guess I have to rest my brain and my system. Tomorrow is gonna be a long day again because of a 4 hours talk in the afternoon. Sigh. Alright. I gotta leave now.

See you blog!

Last Day of the Week!

The last day of the week and we all went to Wen Li's house to catch up! Talked about college stuff and college guys and all of our friends and we still can't believe we are already living in KL.

Saturday, I went out with Chiu and Lisa. I haven't met up with Lisa for over a year so I was pretty excited. So we met up and we had lunch in Canton-i. So we talked so much, we had to sit down some where to eat and chill. All in all, the day was awesome. Tomorrow going to Ikea for furniture shopping. Came back just now to find that the house was in darkness. No electricity. Then after we locked the door, we came back, the door was not locked, I thought, shit, sure kena break in already. But thankfully not.

This week was awesome, relaxing away, only to find that homework was in my email. So I am going to do it now!

Scare the Hell out of me.

Last night I went out with Wen Li, Jenny, Lee Wee, Chin Fang, Wendy, Yen Ling and Ann Bee. Awesome fun. I really miss talking to them and hagging out with them! Let's meet up again alright?

Today is like the second day of college and I am enjoying it already. Woke up slightly late today so I ate kaya bread and got ready to walk to school with my house mates.

The journey there was pretty okay with laughter and us asking them about how their college life was. They are a year older than us. Reach Taylors and they were a group of people dancing to all the pop songs now. Quite interesting. HAHA.

So in class, it was pretty cool. The lecturers are cool and could speak very well and the way they explain stuff is totally different from what Convent teachers do. They put humour into every part of the subject and make it totally interesting for all of us. My first subject was Psychology and the teacher is a half Chinese half Portuguese and she likes Indie and Brit Rock. How cool is it to have a Psychology teacher like that. Accounts was awesome too. The teacher was funny and made us laugh so hard we couldn't imagine. As usual, me and Juliet stood at the window and stared at all the ex seniors selling their books down stairs, spotting for good looking one. Saw a Korean guy with sun glasses. Tall and buff. Damn hot. Many seniors were downstairs but we couldn't spot anyone good looking. Sigh.

So me, Juliet and Lynnette had lunch together at this shop. All the food is like RM5. Went back to class and the guy sitting beside us told us that the shop sold left over food, that is why they are so cheap. My goodness. How me and the rest wanted to puke. We don't have food poisoning thank God. All the ex-seniors were selling their books outside. It was a really awesome sight to see so many people there making so much noise. It really seemed like a carnival. I think because of the increasing crime rate near the college, they kinda have a mini police station there. So I think it is safer now.

I haven't collected my student ID because it was not ready yet. How sad. Went home with Evelyn and Yen Ling. So I wasn't hungry, decided to order some pizza. Lazy to walk out. So I called pizza hut. Gave them my house address and telephone number and my order too. She told me the pizza will be ready in 45 minutes. So I waited. But five minutes later I receive a call on my mobile phone. It goes like this.

Me : Hello?

Pizza guy : Hello Miss Goh, awak telepon untuk pizza kan? Your address is "........"(He totally said the wrong address) kan? Kalau salah anda boleh cakap yang betul tak?

Me : Hello? Err, tunggu ah.

I notice something was amiss. Why the hell would he want my address when I told him just five minutes ago and the pizza lady repeated twice as well. So I put down and he called again. I didn't pick up. He called the third time and Yen Ling picked it up. He asked the same questions again and told her the wrong address and asked her for the real one. And the stupid man ask whether she could speak English or Chinese because she was speaking Malay all the way. So I quickly went out of the house to lock all the gates. In fear if the guy will trace where we are staying. After that he didn't call back. It was damn freaky I tell you.

There were only girls in the house that time. So we freaked like hell. I took out my pepper spray and all and we waited at the door in case. So after that the pizza guy came, thank god. I was so hungry I could eat a cow. So I asked the Pizza Hut guy whether they called me 5 minutes after they took my order. He said no. So I knew it was a scam and he was trying to do something. The guy was trying to get my address maybe to rob my house I think knowing that I am alone or something. So it was pretty darn scary. The pizza guy left and we locked all the doors. I thank God that nothing happened and I didn't give my address out so easily. So after that my housemate who was a guy came back. So I told him what happen. He said that if this happened again, call him and he will rush home. Luckily nothing happened because I didn't have his number. Luckily we have good housemates too. :)

So those people in KL who wanna order food stuff through the phone, becareful alright? Don't simply give your telephone number and address to anyone. It is really very dangerous. Luckily nothing happen to us.

Wish to meet you guys for supper soon!

I miss you guys!